Train - a girl a bottle a boat

Train
a girl a bottle a boat
2017
Spotify

Adult Contemporary is a genre that can send chills down your spine. It's the radio station your Mom would always turn to, leaving you bored as hell. Train saw that set of music, saw the older wealthier fans and decided that was the route for them. Train have about as much edge as hand full of play-doh. On "Play That Song" singer Pat Monahan stumbles his way through a somewhat hip hop somewhat EDM inspired track but what He doesn't realize is just saying "DJ" or "Play that song" does not give a song any sort of credibility. Train are so desperate to remain relevant that they will throw anything at the walls in hopes that something sticks. Rest assured nothing does. This is music for people who want to listen to something but really do not give a shit what it is. It's the couple in their golden years who want to buy a joint from a local troubled youth and see a concert for the first time in years. There is nothing wrong with that if you recognize that is what is going on, but Train take themselves so serious and expect you to as well. "Working Girl" is about being in love with a "working girl"... and i guess that is it? It is so difficult to figure out who this music is for, and why Train keep making records that are so uninspired.

One of the crazier aspects of the record is how Train just straight up steal delivery and rhythms from other songs. As you listen you'll find yourself noticing how similar one particular track is to another song from someone else over and over. It is almost like name recognition in politics, if you can make your song sound enough like someone else's successful song it cuts your workload way down and people won't notice right? It really is more offensive to their fans than anything assuming they don't have the wherewithal to see through this bullshit. There is not however something overtly displeasing about listening to Train and if you are working or doing chores I doubt you will even notice you are listening to anything. We can then call Train what they are: slightly upgraded elevator music. There is nothing redeeming here and whatever upper class boating and wine enthusiast fans they were going for they have majorly missed the mark. Now watch as it sells millions of copies...what the fuck.

2.2 out of 10